Winds of Chaos: A Dark Naruto Fanfic
by The Invisible Sky Wizard
Summary: Chaos runs loose, and demons fight for freedom. In the midst of it all is a young boy with a lot of power and a heart of rage. Can he take control of his destiny or lose himself to the madness forever? Rated for intense language, violence and lemons. R&R!
1. Naruto Uzumaki

Part 1

A/N: Another Dark Naruto fic. This is my first Naruto fic where Naruto starts out with the Kyuubi inside of him, not another demon. I'm still going to do Chains of Evil, but I've finally decided to give in to my desire to write a fanfic about Naruto and the Kyuubi. No crossover characters in this one, just purely Naruto.

Disclaimer: How the hell does Seth McFarlane manage all of those voices?!

--

Ragged breath and sobs of fear could be heard through the darkness, and the sounds of small bare feet running on the wet street. Behind him, he could still hear his pursuers. Three of them, most likely, and probably Chunin. They were laughing and jeering, and Naruto, a stitch in his side and his legs burning with fatigue, forced his body to keep moving. It was easy, when you scared half to death.

"Come back, Naruto!"

"You can't run forever!"

"Happy birthday, Naruto!"

The last call sent the three men into hysterics, and they were now calling out curses and horrible, foul things the likes of which Naruto had never heard before. He turned and ran into an alley he wasn't familiar with, hoping to give the three ment a slip. His heart nearly stopped beating altogether when he came to a dead-end, and turned to see the silhouettes of the three men, slowly creeping up the alley.

"We've got you."

"We have a present for you."

"I'll give you a hint: It isn't a cake."

The three were on Naruto before he could react. One backhanded him, and he stumbled back and fell to the ground, face stinging. Then he doubled up in pain as the wind was driven from him, due to a vicious kick to his stomach. Then came a deluge of kicking, sending pain through his body, bruising soft flesh. One chakra-enhanced kick cracked one of his ribs, and then a hand grabbed him by the hair, hauling him up, and then slamming his head back into the wall. His vision blurred and Naruto went numb, his body limb, barely registering what was going on.

"No, no, you idiot, you save the head for last. If you slam their head too early, they get all fuzzy, and they can't feel the next hit."

"He'll feel this." Naruto snapped back to reality and screamed as a kunai was driven into his right thigh, and again into his stomach, and a third time in his ribs. He gagged as he felt the knife slide in deeper, and felt his blood rolling down his skin underneath his clothes.

One of them backhanded him again, and he felt his jaw break as it moved off to the side and stayed there. Tears streamed down his face, and blood ran from his mouth. One of the men grabbed his wrist and yanked, pulling his arm free from the socket, and then snapping his elbow. Naruto tried to scream again, but all that came out was a choked gurgle.

"Dunno why the Hokage's let you live this long."

"Foolish old man. We're going to correct his mistake tonight."

"And then we'll all be hailed as heroes. Nara-san, hold him."

"With pleasure." One of the Chunin began a set of hand seals. "Shadow Strangulation Jutsu!" The man's shadow sneaked from his body, slid up Naruto's, and wrapped around his neck. The boy began to suffocate, struggling in vain as the shadow not only cut off his air supply, but also pinning him to the wall. As his vision began to darken, he saw one of the other shinobi making a set of hand seals.

"Forbidden Technique: Organ Implosion Jutsu!" Naruto recognized the jutsu as one of the most sinister and wicked techniques on the planet. The Hokage had given Naruto permission to begin Academy training one year ahead of schedule, and in one lesson, Iruka had gone over forbidden jutsu that meant life imprisonment, or in some cases, death, according to the offense. Organ Implosion caused every orang in the body to simultaneously explode, blowing the target's body to pieces.

Naruto screamed and struggled harder as he knew his death was coming. The Chunin's hand glowed red as he came forward, and Naruto began to sob and scream. As the Chunin's hand nearly reached his body, Naruto's scream was cut off, and a foul wave of red chakra burst from his body, sending the three Chunin away from him and canceling the Shadow Strangulation.

The three Chunin, lying on the ground, looked up with horror to see a terrifying sight; Naruto was hunched over, his breathing ragged, the stab wounds healing over completely, while his jaw and arm stopped healing at about half-way. But Naruto was too far gone to notice. The red chakra surrounding his body suddenly swirled and spiraled upward, forming into a giant, red-eyed, long-eared and fanged face that they all knew very well, and made their hearts skip several beats. The Kyuubi roared in rage and dove back into Naruto's body, whose eyes had become red and slitted, the whisker-like markings on his face larger, with fanged teeth and long claws.

**"You...you call yourselves men?! Cowards! I'm going to send each of you cocksuckers straight to Hell!" **Naruto ran forward, and the Chunin turned to run away. But as Naruto pounced, none of them managed to escape, and the splatters of blood reached out of the alley and onto the streets, shining in the moonlight as the screams of the Chunin rent the air.

Naruto stood amid of a mass of smoking, jelly-like flesh and innards, torn body parts, crushed or half-eaten organs, holding a severed head in one of his hands, his body covered in blood and gore, his hair matted with it. Suddenly, the boy threw his head back, and let out a horrible roar, a human shriek of agony and hatred mixed with the rage of a beast, and his entire world went black.

-Mindscape-

Naruto awoke in a black and red hallway. A damp place, made of stone. He moved through it, vaguely curious, even while his mind was in a half-dead state. He could see a large room at the end of the hallway, but it seemed that, for every ten steps he took, he moved forward by only one.

It seemed to go on and on, but finally, he managed to reach the room. Across from him, he could see a line of bars that stretched upward. He couldn't see the ceiling. Behind the bars were a pair of red eyes, and the presence beyond radiated power, confidence, hatred, and a rage so thick it was almost choking. He strode up to the bars, relieved to be able to walk normally at last, and stopped five feet from them.

**"Who dares disturb my rest?!" **The voice held power, a booming baritone, and he could hear massive claws scraping the ground.

"...Naruto Uzumaki. Who the hell are you?"

**"Impudent whelp! I am the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the nine-tailed fox demon!" **A light went off in the cage, illuminating the massive, red-furred demon, nine tails waving angrily behind it.

Naruto stared at the demon, unperturbed by the glare it had fixed on him. "So, where are we?"

The Kyuubi blinked; why wasn't this human scared? He growled. **"Fool! I am not here to give you ans-huh?" **Naruto had disappeared.

"You might as well, since you're in this cage. Not much else to do." Naruto was beside the Kyuubi now, looking up at the demon.

**'This kid is creepy.' **The demon turned to face him, lowering it's head. **"Now you invade my cage?! You dare mock the King of Demons?! I should end you."**

The Kyuubi spluttered when Naruto reached out and placed his tiny hands on the demon's nose, petting the Kyuubi like he were a dog! "Scary. What's next, a demon puppet show? A barrage of evil tickling? Maybe you can blow some sinister bubbles at me."

Kyuubi blinked, and had to fight two urges at once: The first, to bite him in half, and the second to laugh. **'This kid's got guts! I'm starting to like him.' "Not bad, kid, not bad. For that, I'll give you your answer. We're in your mind."**

"My mind?" Vaguely surprised, Naruto reached out to pet again, missed, and stuck his hand up Kyuubi's nose!

This time, the demon did laugh. **"H-hey, that tickles! Get your hand out of there!" **

Naruto pulled his hand back. "So...you're the reason people call me a demon, then?"

The Kyuubi nodded. **"Correct. So, what will you do, now that you know?"**

Naruto chuckled. The light in his eyes was just plain wrong. "Then...they're kind of right, aren't they? Now that I know...I can show them just how much of a demon I really am!"

The Kyuubi blinked, and then roared with laughter. **"I like you, kid! You've gained my respect, not an easy thing to do for a human!"**

"Who was the first?"

**"The Yondaime Hokage, the first to ever beat me. Well, Naruto Uzumaki, since you have my respect, you also have my help." **The Kyuubi dropped to lay down, and put his head on his forepaws, to look Naruto in the eye.

The boy blinked. "Help?"

**"That's right. I'm going to help you to survive..."**

Naruto spent the next four weeks in the hospital, after the Hokage and a few ANBU found him lying in the alley. During those weeks, and the next six years, they began to notice changes in Naruto. Alarming changes.

-Six years later-

Naruto sat alone in the classroom, and that was the way he liked it. He was antsy, because today was finally the last day of Academy training, and the day he would be a true shinobi. Of course, he was already a true shinobi, but because of Konoha's thrice-damned Council, he was forced to go through the motions, just like everyone else.

He sighed behind the black facemask he wore, as a steady hum of conversation continued in the classroom. Of course, there were always those who saw fit, for whatever reason, to let their opinions be known to the entire room.

Two such people are Ino Yakanama, and Sakura Haruno. Yakanama came from a clan known for their strange, body possession and mind-altering techniques. Still, just because the girl knew one such technique didn't make her strong by kunoichi standards. She was actually laughably weak.

And so was Haruno. She came from a civilian clan, and so was even weaker than Ino. She had no special techniques or Taijutsu styles. All she had were Academy jutsu and the basics of combat. What she did have, that Naruto sensed in her, was a very high Earth alignment, that she probably wasn't aware of...and would probably never figure out. What the two were discussing, and loudly, was a boy named Uchiha Sasuke; namely, who liked him more.

Sasuke, the emo fucktard, was ignoring all of this, probably lost in his own little deluded world. With his older brother Itachi being one of Konohagakure no Sato's most wanted nuke-nin, that left Sasuke as the last Uchiha in Konoha, after Itachi's famous mass-murder of the rest of the clan. Naruto knew little of what jutsu Sasuke possessed, and honestly, didn't care. The bastard saw Naruto as a rival, which made Naruto laugh uncontrollably on several occasions. Sasuke was nowhere near his level, and, most likely, would never be.

Another of the loudmouth's was Inuzuka Kiba, a boy from a clan of dog-lovers. He was clowning around with another shinobi, while his puppy, Akamaru, rested in his coat. Naruto knew the Inuzuka had jutsu that affected their biology, and that of the dog companions they kept. This made most of then unpredictable and often wild and savage, and also left them all with a strong dislike of cats and foxes.

The three idiots made Naruto thankful for people who knew how to keep their noise down to a minimum (with the exception of Sasuke, who he fantasized of removing from existence on more than one occasion). People like Aburame Shino. Shino was an odd boy, who always wore round sunglasses and a coat with a high collar. He knew the Aburame controlled bugs with their jutsu, but that was largely it. Shino was one of the few people he actually tolerated.

Another such person was Nara Shikamaru. The Nara clan controlled shadows with their jutsu, and it had been a Nara that had attacked Naruto on the night he met Kyuubi, but he bore no ill will towards Shikamaru. That Nara bastard had gotten what he deserved that night. Shikamaru was famously lazy, but was also a true genius. However, he had a slacker attitude that annoyed Naruto sometimes. But Shikamaru wasn't that bad.

The last quiet one of the class was Hyuuga Hinata. Hinata was a shy, purple-haired girl who rarely talked, and when she did, she had a habit of stuttering. A lot. Like all of the Hyuuga clansmen/women with their special Kekkei Genkai, the Byakuugan, Hinata's eyes were pure white, but when activated, would attain thin lines resembling irises, or pupils. The Byakuugan was said to give 360 degree visibility, but some spying on Naruto's part told him their was a blind spot over their left shoulder. Hinata's father was Hyuuga Hiashi, the main branch family clan Head, and a true bastard, who regarded Hinata of little worth, hence her confidence and self-esteem problems.

And the last person of note was Akimichi Choji. Choji came from a clan of very large people, or, as Naruto put it, 'gluttonous fatasses'. But their fat was their power, as they used special jutsu to expand body parts, or create rolling, bouncing boulders of flesh. Choji was always eating, and often hung out at restaurants. Naruto often wondered how his clan had any money left.

The sound of the door open and closing had little effect, as Naruto was the only one to hear it. However, his ears rang out as the instructor, Umino Iruka, made himself known.

"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BRATS"! Everyone except Naruto, Emo-bitch, and Shikamaru jumped at the yell, and Iruka took his place at the front of the class, and began to drone on about something that Naruto either mastered, or mastered and no longer cared about.

'Kyuubi-sama?'

**"Yes, Naruto-kun?"**

'What do you think I should do today?'

**"I dunno, train? I guess I could show you a new technique or two."**

'Really? That'd be grea-oh...oh, I gotta go, Iruka's got that look again.' Naruto pulled back to reality in time to hear Iruka's question.

"Naruto? Would you like to repeat what I just got finished telling the class?"

Naruto shrugged. "Sure, why not? You were saying that chakra is extremely versatile and adaptible. It can be used to create shields, extend physical attacks, form jutsu, help a shinobi cling to a surface, walk vertically up a wall or tree, walk on water, run up a waterfall, or balance on a senbon or a twig. It can also be used to change eye and hair color, control the trajectory of thrown weapons, send an incoming projectile off-course, or, as the Suna puppeteers do, control ninja puppets. There are also different types of chakra: Human, Divine, Elemental, Demon, Abyssal, Void, and Chaotic, the last three that no human shinobi can ever hope to perform without killing him- or herself."

Ituka blinked. "Er...correct. Now, back to what I was saying..."

Naruto went back to his conversation with Kyuubi. 'I honestly think he likes having me do his job for him.'

Kyuubi chuckled. **"Maybe if you actually paid attention now and then..."**

'Feh. I already know all of this Academy stuff.'

**"You never know if you may have missed something. Like the fact that you're about to miss your Final Exams."**

'Crap!' Naruto hastily pulled himself back to the real world.

"...henge of the Sandaime Hokage, create three perfect clones, and then a third henge of your choice. We will go in alphabetical order, beginning with Aburame, Shino!"

As Iruka went down the list, most passed, some failed. He rose a brow when he heard "Uchiha, Sasuke!" and the females went crazy, cheering encouragement. Naruto watched only to see what he'd do.

As Sasuke took his place next to Iruka, the sensei said, "Your first henge, please, Sasuke."

Sasuke turned into the Hokage, and Iruka nodded. "Good. Now your clones."

Three clones of Sasuke appeared, and Iruka nodded again. "Good. And now your second henge."

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, and then turned into his father, Uchiha Fugaku. The second instructor, Mizuki, wrote down his name and gestured to the forehead protectors on his desk. "Good, Sasuke. You may take your forehead protector, and you are scheduled tomorrow for a photo for your ninja I.D."

Sasuke took his headband and walked back up, sneering at Naruto as he neared. Naruto responded by tripping him, but when Iruka looked up at the booing from the rest of the class, Naruto looked completely innocent. "Clumsy Uchiha," he said.

Iruka frowned. "Uzumaki, Naruto, please come down for your exam." The whole class stopped as his name was called, and Naruto got to his feet, moving down to the front of the class. "Your first henge, please."

Naruto made a half-seal, and turned into a perfect version of the Hokage, pipe and all. Iruka nodded. "Good. Your clones, please."

Naruto smirked, and this time folded his arms as the room filled with Naruto's. They were everywhere, surrounding the two sensei, one crouched on Mizuki's desk, another off to the side. Several were hidden in shadows, one was standing on Naruto's shoulders. The rest were in the crowd of students, and two of them were hissing at Sasuke, distracting him, while a third came up and gave him a vicious wedgie.

Iruka and Mizuki's eyes were bulging out of their heads, and both were speechless, so Naruto took charge, dispelling his clones. "Let me guess, henge of my choice, yes?" Naruto smirked, creating a Shadow Clone behind Sasuke, who grabbed the emo and threw him to the real Naruto. As the screaming emo-projectile neared Naruto, he grinned. "Henge!"

Naruto instantly became Itachi. Of course, this had a profound effect on EVERYONE, but not so much as Sasuke. Naruto sidestepped and Sasuke hit the wall, fell to the ground, and curled up in the fetal potion, crying like a two-year-old.

Naruto walked over to Mizuki, who wasn't moving, dispelled the henge, and wrote his own named down, and walked away. He heard the man mutter, "H-h-headband," and Naruto shook his head. "I have my own, thanks." He took a seat right behind Sakura, letting out a series of rasping breaths and hissing laughter, which was freaking her out bad enough that she wanted to piss herself.

Iruka snapped out of it, and wrote something for a few minutes. Finally, he began to call out the team names, and then he reached one that caught Naruto's attention.

"Team Seven...Haruno, Sakura...Uchiha, Sasuke-"

"YES! WOOHOO! In your face, Ino-Pig!" bragged the pink-haired girl, while Ino stuck her tongue out. "Up yours, Billboard Brow, he'll still be mine!"

"SHUT UP! Now, continuing. The last member of Team Seven is Uzumaki, Naruto, and your Jounin instructor is Hatake, Kakashi, who will meet you, tomorrow, at eight in the morning, on the roof of the Academy. And he says to skip breakfast. Don't be late!" Iruka finished. Sakura and Sasuke cast fearful looks at Naruto, though Sasuke's was mingled with hatred. Naruto merely flipped them both off, rose, and walked out of the room, taking something from his coat. It was a metal plate with the Konoha leaf on it, attached to a strip of black leather that he buckled around his head, keeping his black-and-blonde hair in check. As he walked out, the Chunin secretary sneered.

"So, how much cock did you have to suck to let the teachers graduate you?"

Naruto scowled. "Not as much as you did to get that fake-ass jewelry, whore." He sent a wave of killing intent at the woman, and her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she keeled over, going into a seizure and foaming at the mouth.

Kyuubi chuckled. **"Ever the polite socialist, aren't you?"**

'I try my best.'

**"So, about those new techniques..."**

'Oh?' Naruto rose a brow.

**"Tell me that I'm your lord and master, and that you're my personal fairy bitch boy first, and then we'll talk."**

'How about I tell you to stuff every one of those nine tails up your ass, bend forward, take your manhood into your mouth, bite it off...and maybe I'll consider it.'

Kyuubi snorted. **"You could fuck Sasuke before that'd happen."**

'And I can ruin your day with mental imagery of the Old Hokage in a g-string and nipple tassels.'

**"NONONONO! OK, OK, you win! PLEASE, for the love of everything unholy, don't do that!" **

Naruto chuckled. 'So, about my new techniques.'

**"Go find a secluded spot, you sick little..." **The rest of it was an incoherent muttering that made Naruto chuckle again.

After a few minutes, Naruto arrived at a nice, empty little clearing inside the woods surrounding Konoha. Not the Forest of Death, no. Naruto only went there if he was doing serious training, or if he was pissed off and wanted to slaughter the monsters and low-level demons that plagued those dark woods. He clapped his hands, eager to get started. 'So, what's first?'

**"First, a brief overview. You already know that your two elemental alignments are Wind and Fire, the latter that you get from me. It took me awhile to figure out your third alignment, because I knew it wasn't Divine, and that it had to be Demon, Abyss, or Chaos. And those three are hard to distinguish at first, because they appear to be the same, but when you get to a deeper level, you'll notice large differences.**

**Demon chakra and jutsu is corruptive and wicked. Very little demon techniques have to do with anything short of utter terror or mass destruction. Of course, because of me, you can use these very techniques, but it would be hard for you, being a human. It would be like a Fire-aligned human using Water-based jutsu. It's almost an opposite, and would require more effort and concentration on your part, and so I will not be teaching any of these to you today.**

**Abyss is the hub on which Demon and Chaos chakra turns. It is an evil thing, from the outside to the core. Even demons using it will find, eventually, that the nature of Abyssal jutsu is a double-bladed sword. It is useful, and powerful, but will always turn on the user, whether to damage them as their foes, or corrupt their true nature and change them into something horrible. Only those with Abyssal power in their bodies can safely use these techniques, and you do not have that power, or the strength with which to use them, and if I have anything to say about it, you will NEVER use them. Demon jutsu is different, there, in that, one day, you may be able to use them. But Abyssal jutsu is a no-no.**

**Finally, we have Chaos. Chaos is not an evil thing, it is not wicked, or sinister, which is the mistake many think in regards to it, not just as a power, but as the word. Chaos is wild change, it is savage, uncontrolled. Chaos jutsu is powerful, but always unpredictable. A Chaos fireball may not burn the victim. It might impact on them like a boulder, it might freeze them, it might pass through them. It might even fail. Or it might turn on the user. Chaos chakra is something like two-fifths of a reaction. To fifths to fail, one fifth to succeed, one fifth to change its nature, and one fifth to do nothing or turn back on the user. Only a true Chaos Master can hope to change their attacks into a fifty-fifty: Half a chance to fail, half a chance to work. Chaos can also change the nature of something else. This is difficult to explain, and even harder to do. And for whatever reason, I have determined that Chaos is your third alignment."**

'Chaos? Interesting. So, what will you be teaching me?'

**"Four techniques, actually. One Wind, one Fire, one Lightning, and one Chaos. Lightning shouldn't be hard for you with Fire as an alignment."**

'How do you know Chaos techniques?'

**"I read. Now, your first technique is called Air Crescent. You'll basically use your chakra to 'grab' air and force it into crescent shapes, and then fling them at the enemy as deadly scythes. Here are the hand seals. Have at it."**

The hand seals poured into Naruto's head, who went through them, and began to practice. He drilled himself over and over, until the hand seals were completely burned into his brain. He nodded, and turned to a tree, his first victim. As a master of Air jutsu, he didn't need to make the seals, so he simply went through them in his head, and stood his his arms folded, eyes closed, and head bowed. What he did here was like psychically manipulating his chakra. He could see it happening in his head as it happened outside of his body. His chakra spread out, and began to thin, whirling in midair. As the chakra spun faster, it began to trap the air around him inside the shapes, forcing the air to move as it was shaped into the crescents, however big or small he wanted them to. As the crescents were formed, he used his chakra to 'grab' one side, and flung seven of them at the tree. "Wind Release: Air Crescent Jutsu!"

He watched the blades of wind slice up the trunk, and the tree fell with a loud crash. All of this took him about ten minutes.

Now that he did it once, he did it again, this time, his eyes open. He performed the jutsu in half the time it took him to do it the first time, and slung the crescents at the felled three, chopping it into firewood. Again, he performed the jutsu, concentrating harder, and managed to do it in the time it would take a shinobi to perform the hand signs.

'Air Crescent, mastered. Next?'

**"Nicely done. Well, next is called Dragonfire. It's basically just blowing out a stream of fire from your mouth, which shouldn't be hard at all. It's one of the simplest Fire techniques, but a useful one. Try it."**

Naruto went over the hand seals in his head, doing this several times until he could do it without concious though. He went through them one more time. "Fire Release: Dragonfire Jutsu!" He exhaled a large stream of flame, which caught the wood that used to be a tree on fire.

'That was easy. I expected something difficult.'

**"Meh, difficult later, easy now. You'll burn yourself out if all of your jutsu are high-level techniques. Remember, in a fight, you'll want to keep an equal balance of high and low jutsu in mind. Powerful strikes first, so that when your chakra is low, you can pick and choose the best lower jutsu to end the fight. But remember that jutsu doesn't make a shinobi, so you need to practice your Taijutsu as well. Your Lightning technique is Shock Bolt, which propels a bolt of electricity at your opponent. Here you go."**

Naruto studied the hand seals, and began to drill himself yet again on the motions. He glanced at the sky, noticing the sun was dipping lower. He wondered how long he'd been out for. Not that long, surely. Or maybe it had been later than he thought when he left the Academy. He looked down, and noticed that he was subconciously performing the hand seals, so he nodded, having gotten it down. He performed the hand seals again. "Lightning Release: Shock Bolt Jutsu!"

Electricity crackled around his hand, waiting to be thrown forward. He glanced at his hand curiously, and applied more chakra to up the voltage.

**"Careful, Naruto..."**

Naruto ignored Kyuubi, forcing the voltage higher and higher. Then he threw his hand out, and screamed as the bolt ripped past his arm, obliterating an entire tree and frying his hand instantly. He cut his scream off abruptly and swallowed, forcing his mind from the pain as his hand shook. He heard Kyuubi's exasperated sigh.

**"I tried to warn you! If you force the voltage up higher than the charge your body contains, you're going to injure yourself! I can heal this wound easily, but if you blow your fucking arm off, then you'll be on your own, because I can't handle that! Not unless I make you a han-..." **Kyuubi stopped talking.

'What? A han-what?'

**"Nothing, forget I said it." **Kyuubi's red chakra surrounded Naruto's hand, healing him, and hoping he'd let it go.

No such luck. 'Old Man in a g-string..."

Kyuubi cringed. **"Gah! Alright, you little bastard! I was going to say 'hanyou'!"  
**

Naruto blinked. '"Hanyou" means "half-demon".'

Kyuubi sighed, and gave an almost inaudible groan. **"Yes...it does."**

'You can do that?'

**"Yes...maybe...I don't know. Probably. But not right now. Would you like to drop it, or not continue your training?"**

'...you win this time, fox-teme (bastard).'

**"Goddamn right, I do! Now for your Chaos technique. It's called Wild Whirlwind. It's a storm of air, that brings with it...I dunno, it's randomized. The air might catch fire, it might bring rocks with it, or spawn freezing wind, or shadows...who knows? It's always different. However, if you are fast enough, you can add your own element to it, like your Air Crescent. Now, I have to warn you, for all of their power, Chaos moves are ridiculously easy. That's why it's so wild. I fully expect you to master it in one try. What I don't expect is almost nothing. Be prepared. Here are your hand seals. Oh, and even with a Chaos alignment, you'll need hand seals for this one."**

Naruto drilled himself on the hand seals yet again, but kept stumbling. They were different from normal seals, with different positions, and he needed to keep a strange rhythm to do it. But finally, after maybe ten minutes of trying, he was able to perform the seals perfectly.

"Chaos Release: Wild Whirlwind!" As he let his chakra go, something different came up. It was a chakra he'd never felt before, springing up from a well within him. It rushed up to the surface, howling out of his body, and taking control of the jutsu with ease. At once, a wind storm began, not just near him, but around him.

**"Shit...get out of there, Naruto!"**

He didn't need to be told twice. Struggling against the wind, even with his speed, he finally managed to clear the area, just as a fierce blast of icy wind swept over the whole area, turning everything into ice. Naruto blinked. 'What the hell was that?!'

**"I...don't know." **Lie. **"He has Chaos chakra inside him? I've never felt that before...no, now I CAN feel it. He's awakened it. This could mean one of over a dozen things...most of them bad. Or could be possibly be a Chaos Lord?' **

'Well, I think I'm going to head back and exercise before bed.'

Naruto turned, and headed back from the forest. He found it easiest to travel by jumping from rooftop to rooftop, and soon, he soared through an open window of his apartment.

As he performed sets of mundane exercises like push-ups, sit-ups, and other stuff, he reflected on the day's events. And what would come tomorrow. A team with his two least-favorite people (OK, this was outright lying to himself, he HATED them both), and a new sensei. Hatake Kakashi was a name familiar with him. All in all, he constructed several scenes in his mind of him with his team and sensei.

Each one spelled 'disaster'.

-The Next Morning-

Naruto had been on the roof for an hour before Sasuke and Sakura showed up. It was obvious that Haruno was bugging the Uchiha for a date, the latter steadfastly refusing.

Naruto sighed, and dispelled the Genjutsu he was using to cloak himself from sight. This made Sakura shriek, and Sasuke narrow his eyes.

'How the hell did he do that? He was standing in direct sunlight, nobody but ANBU can perform Genjutsu that well! Agh…I would've seen that if I'd had the Sharingan!'

Naruto turned towards Sasuke, and smirked behind his mask. "Like what you're seeing? You ain't gonna come out of the closet to me, are you?"

Sasuke clenched his fists. "What did you say, freak?"

Naruto half-turned away, and dug in one of his ears, an act designed to piss off the Uchiha, which worked. "Hmm? Oh, nothing. I just thought it odd that you'd proclaim your love of taking it up the ass to me. But then, Itachi isn't here."

That did it. With a roar of rage, Sasuke bull-rushed Naruto, who rolled his eyes. He sidestepped Sasuke and tripped him, hard. As the Uchiha's legs came up into the air, Naruto grabbed one, swung Sasuke over his head, and into the roof, cracking it and nearly sending the senseless Uchiha THROUGH it.

"Two things: Firstly, head-on attacks only work if you can match or beat the strength of your opponent. Which brings us to the second, don't attack someone who severely outclasses you, dumbass."

Sakura was livid, and just as loud as ever. "HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO SASUKE?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

Naruto dug a finger into his ear again, this time for real. 'Shit…I think I'm bleeding.' Leveling a glare to Sakura, his eyes, which he normally disguised as having no iris or pupil (like a mimic of the Byakuugan's dormant state), began to glow a bright, angry red. "If you don't like the way I treat Uchiha, then why don't you do something about it?" Sakura trembled. "No? Then shut the fuck up!"

Sasuke was just now coming back to the land of the living. Naruto noticed this, and stomped on his stomach. This time he DID go through it. 'That oughta take care of him. We've still got awhile to go.'

Two hours later, Sakura had begun an annoying habit of pacing around the roof. "Where is he?" she muttered to herself. "He's late!"

Sasuke came up through the door of the roof, limping. Naruto grinned. "Hatake Kakashi, mid-level Jounin, once an ANBU, holder of the wolf mask, son of the famous White Fang, known as the Copycat Ninja, holder of over a thousand jutsu, and having a permanently-active Sharingan in his left eye socket. Thus, the reason why he keeps his forehead protector over that socket. He's known for being extremely tardy. You know how they say 'Timing is everything'? Nobody told him, apparently. I'd say he'll be here in another hour. Or he'll show up now."

Kakashi came through the door, eye-smiling, and raised a hand. "Yo. I'm Hatake Kakashi, and I'll be your team instructor."

Kakashi turned his eye on each of them in turn, noticing the tension in the air, the glares, and the outright fear. His eyes narrowed when they reached Naruto. The Kyuubi vessel. And Kakashi, his senses acute, even for a shinobi, had picked up every word. He didn't like having a kid he'd never met knowing so much about him.

Sasuke, of course, only paid full attention to the 'Sharingan' part. 'A Sharingan eye? Could he possibly be…?'

Kakashi folded his arms over his chest. "My first impression is…I hate you."

Cue group sweat-drop.

"So, why don't you all tell me a little bit about yourselves? Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and goals. You, the pink-haired girl, you can go first."

Sakura nodded. "My name is Haruno Sakura. I like flowers, studying, and…" She looked over at Sasuke, and giggled. "I dislike Ino-pig, and creepy people." The last, she glanced at Naruto, and glared. "My goals are…" She looked back to Sasuke, and squealed.

Kakashi rolled his eye, and pointed at Sasuke. "You."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like almost nothing, I dislike almost everything, my hobby is training, and my goal is to kill a certain someone, and revive my clan."

Sakura blushed. 'Wow, Saskue-kun's so cool!'

Kaskashi pointed at Naruto. "And you last."

Naruto folded his arms, and leaned against a vent. "Uzumaki Naruto. My likes and dislikes are personal, my hobby is training, and my goals are personal."

Kakashi sweat-dropped. 'OK…we have a fangirl, an avenger, and a misanthropic psycho. This is going to work out great.' No amount of sarcasm, there.

"Well, since we've all gotten to know each other so well, I have a surprise for you." Sasuke was about to say something, but an elbow from Sakura shut him up. "A test. A test that, if you fail, means you will be sent back to the Academy." Kakashi's eye narrowed at their expressions of shock and outrage. "Meet me at the number seven training ground in exactly ten minutes. And, Genin…don't make me wait."

With that, Kakashi disappeared, and the three Genin looked at each other. Even Naruto was surprised.

--

A/N: End the of the first chapter of my newest Naruto fic. I know I go through a lot of them, but that's because some of the previous ones were just ridiculous. I really think this one will succeed, though. And yes, I know I screwed up the formula for how they meet Kakashi and set up the test…but by the time I noticed, I'd gone too far, and was too lazy to re-write that much of it.

Later!


	2. Kakashi's Test

Part 2

A/N: Oh, yeah, the second chapter. And everyone should know what this means. Kakashi's test. I always love to write Naruto's fight scenes. Each time I do, I think I get a little bit better in terms of portraying how strong he should be. Well, in this one, I'm aiming for 'fucking ridiculous', so if it seems like he's way too overpowered, good! That's what I'll be trying to accomplish.

One thing to note: As I write this fanfic today (which will probably take me all day) I'm going to be running on 0 hours of sleep. Not going to bother explaining why, but if parts of the story seem off, heh, sorry. I'll try to keep my sanity intact for this one.

--

Naruto gave a snort, and made a hand seal. "Aw, what-the-fuck-ever." And he disappeared in a swirl of leaves. Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other, with the same question, at the same time.

"How'd he do that?"

Ten minutes later, a panting Sakura and a begging-for-death Sasuke appeared at training ground seven. They both had to sprint to make it, but Sasuke was worse off because of that beating he took. As soon as he came within ten feet of Kakashi and Naruto, he collapsed, muttering something about "comfy bed grass."

Sakura was a little more dignified, opting to lean up against a tree and try to regain her breath. As the more awake of the two, Sakura was able to notice four specific things: One, there were three wooden posts. Two, on one of these posts were two lunch boxes. Three, Kakashi was reading a book called Icha Icha Paradise (Come Come Paradise). And four, Naruto looked pissed off.

The reason for this being Kakashi had asked what he'd done to Sasuke and why, which prompted a heated argument. Naruto had won, of course, but it didn't make him any less pissed.

Kakashi eye-smiled when they arrived. "So, finally here, and precisely right on time! Good. Now, for your test. I'll keep it short so we can begin. You have until twelve o' clock, or noon, to take one of these two bells from me. Those who get a bell, get lunch. Those who do not get a bell not only fail the test, but will be tied down and forced to watch as the winners eat."

Sakura groaned. 'So that's why he didn't want us to eat breakfast. I didn't even have dinner last night! Great time to start a diet, Sakura!'

Sasuke gave a weak hiss. 'Aww, crap. I'm not gonna get a bell in this state. Naruto, you're going to pay for this!'

"So, let's begin. Oh, and aim to kill, or you won't succeed."

Sakura took off into the tree, pulling Sasuke with her. Kakashi watched them go, and took out his Icha Icha. He blinked a second later as a kunai tore through the book. He turned and barely dodged a punch from Naruto, who had removed his jacket and was coming at Kakashi with eyes of red rage.

"You don't have time to be reading, sensei! _Pay attention!_"

Kakashi dodged and blocked a volley of kicks from Naruto, which had the effect of dead-arming the Jounin. He jumped back from the masked boy, shaking his arm to get some feeling into it. Naruto, meanwhile, was performing a set of hand seals at leisure.

'He's not going to take me seriously. The only course of action is to show him who he's dealing with.'

"Lightning Release: Shock Bolt Jutsu!"

Naruto charged the attack as high as he dared, and let it rip towards Kakashi. The Jounin was able to sidestep the attack with ease.

"Is that all you've got, Naruto?"

"No."

Kakashi's eyes widened; the voice was behind him. He shouted in pain as a fist from the real Naruto slammed into the small of his back, sending him forward, and into a tree. On impact, Kakashi turned into a log, and Naruto slapped his Shadow Clone a high-five.

'Letting him get away, Boss?' Naruto and his clones could communicate through a kind of telekinesis. 'Oh, wait, no. I see what you did there.'

Naruto grinned, and held up his hand. It smelled strongly of dirt.

Kakashi appeared in a tree, looking down at the two Naruto's. However, he didn't have time for safe reflection as another clone came up and roared, throwing a punch. Kakashi jumped back and the clone snapped through a fifteen-inch thick tree branch, grabbed the trunk with newly developed claws, and gave chase.

'Kami in the heavens! If his clones can do that, how strong is the real Naruto? And how did he find me?'

Kakashi dodged another punch, and stabbed a hand though the chest of the clone, dispelling it instantly. However, another dropped down behind him, snickering.

"How about a little game of Cat and Mouse, sensei? I get to be the cat!!"

The clone had two kunai, and began taking vicious swipes that, to Kakashi, seemed wild and uneven. He took advantage of what he thought was an opening as the clone performed a double-thrust, one wide, one low, and well apart.

But the clone was quicker than he thought. As he came in to punch it out of existence, the clone flicked both wrists, and brought his arms together and across, slashing Kakashi's arm twice in the elbow.

Kakashi had to back away, and took safety in a cluster of bushes, holding his bleeding arm. It wasn't deep; the clone had purposely made the cuts shallow. Kakashi took out a roll of bandages, and fixed the wound in a few seconds. He sighed, and watched the kunai-wielding clone join the other clone and the real Naruto.

'OK…I held back, and that let me gauge Naruto's skill level. He's strong…stronger than I thought. But I can still beat him.'

'Boss, what now?' asked clone one.

'Chill. We've been holding back. That should throw him into a false sense of security. We can trick him easily, and then I can get both of those bells, and leave the useless girl and the emo with nothing!' Naruto had to stop himself from laughing like a madman.

'Right. Boss, can we have more chakra?'

Naruto looked at the clone. 'You think you need it?'

'Yeah, for jutsu and such.'

Naruto shrugged, and was about to move some of his chakra to his clones, when he had an idea. 'Kyuubi?'

There were sounds of snoring.

'Kyuubi? Ohh, Kyuuuubiiii? _WAKE UP!_'

"**Zzzzzzz-! Gah! N-Naruto-kun! What do you want?!"**

Naruto snickered. 'Can I borrow some youkai for my clones? I'd like to reserve all I've got.'

He heard Kyuubi grumble. **"That was it? Fine, done."**

Both clones glowed bright red for a moment, and then bowed to Naruto, disappearing. The real Naruto stood in the clearing, and went through a mental checklist.'

'Available jutsu…let's see: Wall Walking, Tree Walking, Leaf Floating, Surface Clinging, Water Walking, Clone, Replacement, and Rope Escape. Other jutsu: Shadow Clone, Air Crescent, Inner Decapitation, Shock Bolt, Dragonfire, Fire Dragon Flame Missile, Water Dragon, Mud Dragon Projectile, Great Waterfall, Shock Claw, Ice Spike, Earth Spike, Rock Frag, Water Octopus and Wild Whirlwind. Plus my Genjutsu and Taijutsu. Those are just the ones I remember offhand, but Kakashi knows a lot more than I do. I'll just have to do better.'

"**Maybe I really should teach you more high-level jutsu."**

'No, you think?'

'**Well, there is one that comes to mind. It's a Kage-level technique, highly dangerous, but guaranteed to turn an army of men into red mist in seconds. It's too dangerous for something like this, but its secondary skills are useful as well. And only mid-Jounin to perform! The trick is, one is Divine, the other Demonic."**

Naruto arched a brow. 'Say what?'

"**The two are Lightning Release: Divine Bolt, and Demon Skill: Unholy Lightning. When you put them together, along with a set of hand seals that are difficult to perform, as you have to be holding onto the bolts while doing it, it creates the technique Chaos Release: Oblivion Bolt."**

'So Chaos is the combination of Divine and Demon jutsu?'

"**Not always, but in this case, yes. However, this one is different. It always has a 100% chance of success. But it also always has a 75% chance to obliterate you as well as your enemies."**

'So just teach me the secondary skills.'

"**I can only show you Divine Bolt. You don't have the power for Unholy Lightning…unless…"**

'Unless I'm using your youkai at the time.'

"**If you can keep Hatake occupied long enough to learn, then we'll talk."**

'Right. More clones, coming up, and I might as well make an appearance of my own.'

Meanwhile, the two clones Naruto already had out were keeping Kakashi occupied. One had tried to get him with Inner Decapitation, but Kakashi escaped and appeared behind him. He would have gotten him, but Two came in with his kunai, stabbing and slashing. Kakashi took a kunai of his own out, blocking the attacks with only one. The trick was in how difficult it became with just that one.

Meanwhile, the other clone was free to perform the hand seals for Shock Bolt. Kakashi didn't realize until it was too late, and was the unfortunate receiver of a blast of electricity to the gut. However, being stronger than the clone, it only slid him back two feet, and Kakashi took his revenge with a technique he'd copied from a Kumo-nin, Electric Sword. He dispelled One easily, and took Two out by blocking both kunai with his lightning sword. Metal makes for an excellent conductor.

"Hey, Naruto!" he called out. "It's getting pretty late, you aren't trying hard enough! And Sasuke, Sakura? Just loafing around? Tsk, tsk…you'll fail for sure at this rate!"

Sasuke growled, and glared at his sensei. "I've got to go for it. I need a bell. I can't go back to the Academy."

"Sasuke, no!" Sakura was right beside him, looking worried. "You're still hurt because of that creep, Naruto!"

"Leave me alone!" Sasuke jumped out of the tree, and threw several shuriken at Kakashi. He blocked each with a kunai, and Sasuke engaged him briefly with Taijutsu.

'For a Genin, Sasuke's pretty fast. Though, not as fast as Naruto, but still impressive.'

Kakashi managed to flip Sasuke in midair, who landed on his face. He got up, but Kakashi was nowhere in sight. Sasuke scratched his head. "Huh?"

Sakura and Naruto saw Kakashi ten feet away, performing a set of hand seals. Sakura followed his movements, and gasped. 'Oh, no! Those hand seals are dangerous! He's not just toying with Sasuke…he's going to kill him!' "Run, Sasuke, run!"

Naruto, however, saw it differently. 'Those hand seals are nonsense. What are you doing, Kakashi?'

He saw a menacing glint in Kakashi eye as he finished his hand seals. "Konogakure Secret Technique…"

Sasuke still had no clue what was going on. Naruto frowned, wondering what the show was for. But somehow, he knew he'd hate the answer.

"One Thousand Years of Death!" Kakashi lunged forward, and plunged his finger right up Sasuke ass. There was a moment of stillness, and then a gleam. And the Uchiha was launched into the air, screaming his head off and probably traveling at Mach 1, right into the lake, with a massive splash.

Sakura's face could best be described as 'having no basis whatsoever in reality, the sheer impossibility of which has resulted in something related to nothing, and being a small, gibbering, pudding-brained mess of a girl'.

Naruto was reaction was much different. An urge to vomit from every orifice, EVERY one, and then an intense feeling of uncleanliness resulting in a desperate need to 'shower away the "what the fuck?!"'.

Of course, this probably paled in comparison to what Sasuke felt, if he even felt anything at all. Possibly not, because, and this is the part making NO SENSE, he came up, skidded on the surface of the water, and was now embedded into a tree. The fact that he was breathing and nothing was broken was nothing short of a fucking miracle. Although Naruto would think of as a dirty trick from a ninth-level hell-demon.

Naruto stared at Kakashi from his place of hiding, one of his eyes twitching. 'I will never, ever allow that man to touch me for as long as I live. …ever.'

And of course, Kyuubi missed out. **"What? What? I wanna know! Screw it, I'm going through your memories."**

'Wait, don't-!'

The Kyuubi became to scream and laugh uncontrollably, and had to retreat into a dark, dark space of the cage he resided in, probably now half-insane.

Of course, watching a full-grown man stick his fingers up the butt of a pre-teen boy whose sexuality was open for discussion would do that to anyone. And if the sound of Sakura falling from her tree was any indication, she was done for the day. Naruto sighed.

'I hate my life and everybody in it. OK, almost everybody,' he added at a growl from Kyuubi.

Three new Shadow Clones that Naruto created all attacked Kakashi at once, and forced him to jump away from his hiding place as three fists smashing into the ground where he was, creating a ten-foot radius crater.

The real Naruto saw Kakashi, and performed a quick set of hand seals. "Lightning Release: Static Claw!" Electricity crackled to life around Naruto's hands, extending over his fingers to end in points, resembling claws, hence the name.

Kakashi turned to see Naruto rushing at him, and swung the lightning sword in a horizontal slash. Naruto ducked under the attack and grabbed Kakashi's arms, and electricity raged through the Jounin's body. Naruto's other hand swept across his stomach, burning through his clothes, and leaving long, claw-like burn marks on his skin. Naruto swept his hand back for a reverse swipe, but he found himself holding a log. And then flying forward after a vicious roundhouse kick to the back of his head.

Naruto hit the ground and rolled, turning and sliding to a stop as Kakashi pressed the attack. Naruto ducked under two quick jabs, and threw out a volley of ten punches that, to anyone else, would have looked like four. Kakashi managed to block each punch with his palms, but had to use both hands to do it.

"What's wrong, sensei? Having trouble keeping up?"

"Not at all. I could do this all day, but you only have an hour to go."

"Good point." Naruto purposely let himself get hit, and used the Replacement technique to disappear.

Now Kakashi began to sweat. During the entire time in the test, Kakashi could tell, if not exactly where, then the general direction of, where Naruto was. But now, it was like the kid had died. He didn't feel his chakra signature at all. Granted, he didn't feel much anyhow, but he suspected Naruto had been holding a lot of it back.

Naruto, meanwhile, was hiding in a tree. He was suppressing his chakra to fuck with Kakashi, and it looked like it was working. Of course, he couldn't hide all of it, but enough leaked out that he could've been a bird, or something, and nobody would notice. He could tell where each of his clones were, and told them to hide back and wait.

'One hour to go? Time to kick it into high gear, then.'

Naruto leapt from the tree, aiming his body towards Kakashi. "Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Missile!" Fire leapt from his mouth, forming a large dragon, which sped towards Kakashi.

The Jounin looked up, and got away in time, leaping back as the dragon hit the ground and exploded. Naruto landed on the ground, and stared directly at Kakashi, not even moving. "Wind Release: Air Crescent." The air around Naruto began to swirl, and formed several scything blades of air that threw themselves at Kakashi.

Kakashi performed a set of hand seals. "Earth Release: Spike Barrier Technique!" The ground in front of Kakashi rose up to form a wall of rock spikes jutting forward, seven feet high. The crescents impacted against the barrier, doing no damage. But Naruto came through a second later, smashing through the rocks with only his fists, and kneeing Kakashi in the stomach hard enough to send him back over a dozen feet.

'How did he get this strong?! This is impossible! This is…where did he go?'

Naruto came down at that moment, with a perfect axe-kick to Kakashi's face, smashing the Jounin's head into the ground. And this was the real Kakashi, too, but he was too strong to be put down by a mere axe-kick, even one from Naruto. He leapt to his feet, turned, and grabbed Naruto by the wrist, performing a set of hand seals. "Lightning Release: Stunner Technique!"

Naruto didn't even shout out as electricity coursed through his body, though he did twitch a lot. He punched Kakashi square in the nose with his free hand, forcing the Jounin to let go of him. Then he grabbed the man by the hair, and threw him over the lake, following after.

Kakashi hit the water at a run, now moving away from the kid, who was…running on the water as well. Great! He wasn't safe anywhere!

Both of them were moving at speeds enough to throw the water behind them up to fifteen feet (to get an accurate depiction, it would be like Gai racing Rock Lee…but Naruto is Gai in this case). He caught up to Kakashi to say in his ear, "That fucking hurt!"

Naruto sped up, slid to a stop, and turned towards the oncoming Kakashi. He performed a set of hand seals. "Water Release: Great Waterfall!" He held his hands up and drew a water to form a giant ball above his head, and released it all in a gushing torrent that knocked Kakashi down and drenched him. The impact was like getting a head butt from a mountain goat, but somehow he managed to keep on the surface of the water.

Kakashi sprung to his feet, and blocked a high-kick from Naruto, responding with a mid-level kick to his balls. Naruto jumped up, placing his other foot on Kakashi's chest, and jumping off, back flipping to land on his feet and coming back at Kakashi again.

Naruto moved at speeds to equal Kakashi, as both shinobi attacked and defended, neither gaining or losing an advantage. Naruto threw a right hook that Kakashi blocked, and aimed a jab at Naruto's throat. Naruto blocked it with his forehead protector, threw his left hand out to slash Kakashi's chest, but the Jounin turned from the blow.

They continued on like for a couple of minutes, but then Naruto jumped back to continue the fight at mid-range, performing a set of hand seals. "Lightning Release: Shock Bolt!" He threw the lightning at Kakashi, who dodged it. The attack hit the water, and raced out over the surface, getting Kakashi and trapping him in the current.

Naruto used his Wind mastery to float a foot over the water, out of harm's way. The lightning had passed, but Kakashi was still getting shock. So Naruto walked over to him, and decided to help him out.

My smashing both fists on top of Kakashi's head, driving him under water. Naruto chuckled, and began another series of hand seals. "No napping here, sensei. I'm not done yet. Water Release: Water Octopus."

Underwater, Kakashi could see distortions in the lake. Swirling water that formed tornado-like shapes. But as they began to move and curl, he recognized it as a jutsu, and swung his body to dodge one tentacle as it tried to impale him!

Kakashi swam up, and broke the surface of the water, pulling himself up in time to dodge a massive tentacle that came up, and tried to crush him. Smaller ones sought his ankles and wrists, but he dodged these too, moving away from Naruto. If he could get far enough away, the jutsu couldn't reach him.

But then, the 'head' of the octopus rose in front of him. Kakashi stopped, his arms hanging at his sides, as the thing rose up, higher, and higher, to tower over him, fifty feet in the air. Tentacles wrapped around his arms and legs, and he struggled, but they soon immobilized him, turning him to face Naruto, who was a mere ten feet away, performing a long series of hand seals.

"This has been a lot of fun, but I really expected more from you. Water Release: Water Dragon."

As a giant dragon of water rose up and fell into Kakashi, Naruto failed to notice a second dragon rising up behind him, until he turned and it was too late to do anything about it. Both dragons smashed into the clone Kakashi and Naruto, as the clone disappeared and Naruto was driven under the water.

He grinned. 'Crafty bastard, that one completely skipped my notice. Ah, it feels like I've been hit with a frying pan the size of a house.'

"**Um…you know there's that pesky 'breathing' thing to worry about, right? Or do you just want to take a nap down here?"**

'Quiet, you.' Naruto swam to the surface, rising up like a ghost, and Kakashi sweat-dropped.

'Are you kidding me?! That should have put him down easily!'

"Ready to skip the games, sensei?"

"Ready when you are, Naruto!"

"Good!" Naruto lunged forward, aiming a punch that Kakashi dodged unnecessarily. Naruto had missed by a good six inches. But then Kakashi's head snapped to the side, and he knew what Naruto did there. He used chakra to extend his punch.

And again. Naruto stopped short of Kakashi's stomach, but the Jounin doubled over as chakra sunk into his abdomen. Kakashi charged chakra into his fist as Naruto prepared for another double-smash, and straightened up, slamming his fist into Naruto's jaw.

Naruto merely rose a couple of inches, and dropped back down, setting his jaw back in place, while Kyuubi healed him. "Huh…you know, that kinda hurt."

Kakashi sweat-dropped again, and Naruto mimicked the move, charging Kyuubi's youkai into his fist, and slamming it into Kakashi's jaw, sending the Jounin high up into the air.

Kakashi jaw wasn't just broken, it was _shattered_. As he came back to the water, Naruto caught him by letting Kakashi fall onto his hand, right into the small of his back. Naruto took the Jounin to the shore and threw him, but Kakashi managed to stay on his feet. He threw a punch to Naruto, who caught his arm, pulled Kakashi forward, and then backhanded him, hard, sending him stumbling back and breaking his nose as well.

"Hmph. I've got to admit, you've more than earned your place as a mid-level Jounin. You're almost as fast as I am, and almost as strong. And you can take a shitload of damage too. But I still whooped your ass." Naruto grabbed him by the neck. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Kakashi looked up. "Boom."

"Aw, fu-" As the Kakashi-clone exploded, Naruto was sent into a tree, snapping it at the point of impact. Naruto got to his feet, brushing himself off, and turned to avoid a volley of kicks from Kakashi, who missed his head by a mere half-an-inch.

Naruto aimed a snap-kick at Kakashi's head, who blocked him with a forearm, and threw a kunai at Naruto stomach. He caught it and flicked it into Kakashi's thigh, who winced in pain. Kakashi aimed a sidekick at Naruto's face, but he caught the Jounin's leg, took him by the throat, lifted him, and slammed him into and through a tree.

Another Kakashi got Naruto in a submission hold, and the real Kakashi performed a series of hand seals. "Chidori: One Thousand Birds!" The sound of birds chirping filled the area, and lightning crackled around Kakashi's hand, who glared at Naruto. "Do you give up?"

Naruto just smiled. "Nope."

Kakashi came forward, and slammed his hand into Naruto's chest, with an extremely weak Chidori. As Naruto leaned forward, he whispered, "Boom."

"FU-" Kakashi was thrown back from the explosion, and screamed at a fist slammed into his back. Another fist sunk into his stomach. A third hand slapped his throat as it grabbed him, and slammed him down into the ground.

"Nighty-night, asshole!" said three identical voices in unison, before Kakashi's entire world went black with an explosion of pain.

When Kakashi woke up, he was leaned against a tree, staring at Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. Naruto was holding up two bells.

"What? How-" said Kakashi, and realizing his jaw wasn't broken anymore.

"Firstly, I healed your jaw, and your nose. Don't ask how. Second, I took both bells from you at the start of the fight, not the end."

"When-"

"When I punched you in the back the first time, and you hit that tree, I had a clone waiting, who was cloaking himself from view. He crossed under you as you headed for the tree, and took one bell. The second bell came after I axe-kicked you in the face. You were stunned for a second, and I used that second to get it. You won't remember it, though: Getting stunned is like getting slipped a Roofie. It'll kill your memory of it. Oh, and you probably have a lot of fractures in your bones, but I can't heal that."

Kakashi struggled to his feet, trying not to voice his pain, and looked at his watch. "Noon exactly. Naruto, you pass. Sasuke and Sakura, you fail. Oh, and one other thing: You fail or pass as a team."

Naruto gave a snort, and tossed a bell each to Sasuke and Sakura. "Fine, they pass. Fight me again, and if I win, I pass. If I fail, we all lose."

Kakashi sweat-dropped. "You all pass! The point of the whole test was teamwork. Sasuke, you boldly rushed me with no regards to teamwork, trying to get a bell for yourself. Sakura, you were too worried about Sasuke to make an attempt for yourself. Naruto here is the only one who has shown teamw-" Kakashi stopped talking when a fist came down on the top of his head.

"You're only spouting that bullshit because you don't want me to beat on you again," said Naruto, grabbing his coat. "So we all pass. Whatever. I'm out of here. If you need me, too bad." And with that, he disappeared.

All three of them sweat-dropped. 'I wonder if he took classes to be such an asshole?'

-Naruto's Apartment-

Kyuubi was roaring with laughter. **"Ah, Naruto, that was priceless! I LOVE watching you put people in their place, but to do it to the famous Copycat Ninja was better than anything I've ever seen! And for that, you deserve a reward."**

'A reward?' Naruto was in his apartment, removing his headband and kunai pouch, and dropping onto a couch to watch TV.

"**Yes, a reward. I want you to find a blank scroll, and open it for me."**

Naruto kept a few in a drawer near the couch, so he took one out and unrolled it. 'Done.'

"**Now I want you to cut open your hand, and place it above the scroll."**

Naruto did as told, slicing open his palm with kunai and placing it above the scroll. Kyuubi's red chakra poured from his hand onto the scroll, turning to red ink, and he recognized it as a Summoning Scroll. He didn't need to be told what to do now. As his hand healed over, he placed it on the table, and slammed his hand onto the scroll. "Summoning Technique!"

When the smoke cleared, he saw a brand new facemask, a shimmering cloak of red chakra, steel-toed combat boots at knee-height, a pair of fingerless black leather gloves, and another scroll.

'Um…explain?'

"**Gladly. The facemask, cloak, and gloves are all inventions of mine. The facemask can filter out impurities in the air, like dust, or toxins, and when underwater, creates 'gills' at your cheeks that filter the water through them, leaving behind oxygen. It will also extend up your face when you wear it, and cover over your eyes with glass that is harder than steel. And you'll no longer have to apply chakra into your eyes to change the hue, just the glass. They'll also strengthen your nightsight."**

'But I don't have nightsight.'

"**Just shut up and listen. The cloak, when you put it on, will be absorbed into your clothing. This is permanent, which is good, because it means several things. Firstly, you can apply youkai into your clothes to change them if you ever want to update your style. You can also apply youkai to strengthen the material into a titanium-steel alloy. They'll stay lightweight, but become ridiculously strong. And if your clothes become ripped, they're self-repairing.**

**The boots are just boots. But they look badass, and open-toed boots, in some situations, can be a safety hazard. They weight less than real boots, sure. But if something falls on your feet, your gonna get your toed crushed. These boots are harder than standard work boots. If a tree falls on them, your going to feel a slight pressure, no more.**

**The gloves can shoot out kunai, senbon, or shuriken. This way, you don't have to carry around a pouch. But you'll need to seal the weapons into the gloves, and keep in mind how many you actually have in there. They also have weapons already sealed, a pair of demon longdaggers. They don't have any powers, but they can't break.**

**And finally, in that scroll, you'll find several weapons. A katana, a battleaxe, trench knives, a battlechain, and a warhammer, all of demon making. I know you, and I know you'll like to use weapons that you wouldn't normally see a shinobi carrying. It should make your battles more interesting.**

**And finally, your last gift is immaterial. You'll remember I mentioned I can make you a half-demon?"**

'Yes.'

"**I can partially merge my chakra with yours. This means several things. First, you'll not only have your human chakra, and my youkai, but you'll have youkai of your own. You'll have to train to strengthen it, but the good news is that youkai grows faster than human chakra.**

**Second, you'll grow in strength, speed, and agility. Your senses will become razor-sharp, but I want to warn you now, it won't always be a good thing. Sensitive hearing, or sense of smell, can sometimes fuck you up. You'll also have an amazing healing factor, so you won't need to rely on me. Also, you'll notice a new physical changes, but with your mask, they won't become a problem.**

**Finally, if I make you a hanyou, it means that you'll also be on your way to becoming a full demon. It means immortality, and power like you can only dream of. Unless you get killed before it happens, and if you're ever tired of immortality, or killed with immortality, which is different from invincibility, remember that, you'll die. And, the process is going to be extremely painful as demon blood and youkai overtakes your human system. So, if you want to wait a while to prepar-"**

'I'm ready now.'

"**Good, good. Then hold still, and try not to scream OK?"**

Naruto doubled over on the couch instantly, as pain racked his entire body. He could feel a burning sensation running through his veins, and his chakra network. His heart began to beat faster, trying valiantly to pump more blood through his system. His white blood cells tried desperately to fight off the invading force, but it was a pointless struggle. Naruto groaned, and gripped the couch, as his fingernails painfully elongated into claws. His brain felt like it was boiling, and his senses sharpened with such clarity that it pumped adrenaline into his system, making his ears ring out in pain. His vision began to blur, and he moved his head from the couch, emptying his stomach. He gasped out, his muscles twitching spasmodically, and his teeth began to hurt like he had bad toothaches. He could feel them sharpening, and growing fangs.

Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. Naruto screamed out, wide-eyed, and his scream became a roar, as red chakra burst from his body, wild and violent. It formed two long, waving tails behind him, and the chakra swirled and formed the snarling head of the Kyuubi. The chakra rose and dove back into his body, and Naruto arched his back, gasped, and fell onto the couch, unconscious.

When Naruto awoke the next day, he noticed that all of the pain was gone from his body. In face, he felt great! He jumped up from the couch, avoiding the dried-up vomit, and went to go check the mirror. He noticed that his hair was a little longer and spikier than normal, and the black in his hair was reduced to just the tips. His eyes, as deep and blue as ever, held slits for pupils. The whisker markings on his face were thicker, and he opened his mouth, finding fangs. He checked his fingers: Claws.

'Huh…not bad. I could be wrong, but I think I'm a bit slimmer and more muscular than before. Kyuubi? Am I right?'

"**Zzzzzzz…"**

'Lazy fox. Feh, I guess I'll have to find something to do today.'

After taking a shower, Naruto got dressed, putting on the new gloves and boots. He reached for his old facemask, but remembered the new one, lying on the youkai cloak.

'…it can't look too bad, could it?'

Grabbing both, he went over to the mirror. First, he slung the cloak over his shoulders, and clasped it. Instantly, the cloak wrapped around his body, and sunk into his clothes, even the new gloves and boots. There was no difference as far as he could tell. Turning his focus inward, he began to search his chakra network.

'….there you are.'

Finding his hanyou youkai, he applied a small bit into his clothes. Not an easy task, as he didn't know how to properly use it yet, and it took more concentration than was normal, but he managed it. He instantly felt the change he was looking for. He felt two hundred pounds of weight on his torso, and one hundred on his arms and legs. He stumbled forward about an inch, but then straightened up, trying to adjust to the weight.

'Whoo…not bad. This should be good.'

Then he grabbed the mask, and pulled it on, over his mouth and nose. The effect was instantaneous. The material slid up, over his face, clinging to his skin. At first, it was suffocating him. It reached up to his forehead protector, merging into the material, but leaving the headband looking the same. Then, the mask over his eyes began to split, as plates of oval-shaped glass opened. He looked in the mirror; he could see perfectly, but his eyes remained hidden, the little windows of glass a milky white.

As he was about to rip the mask off to breath again, suddenly, oxygen poured into it. He took a deep breath, noting that the air he breathed was clean, pure. It was a remarkable change, it made him feel slightly better. He looked at himself in the mirror, and smirked. The effect of the mask was creepy as hell. Kyuubi sure knew him well.

Naruto headed out of his apartment, and saw three Jounin running down the street. He glanced up to the rooftops, and saw two ANBU, heading in the same direction.

'Hm…something big is going down.'

Then he saw two Chunin following after the Jounin.

"I can't believe that bastard Mizuki stole the Forbidden Scroll!" said one.

"Shut up! Do you want the civilians to know and start a panic?" growled the other one.

Naruto folded his arms. 'Mizuki stole the Forbidden Scroll? Then perhaps I can steal it from him.'

At his point, Kyuubi was awake. **"I doubt it. They'll kill anyone who steals it for treason."**

'Then maybe I can read it over, before I'm found by the ANBU. I'll need you to write down the contents, in case I forget.'

"**Got it. You know how to find him, don't you?"**

'Yes, I just search for his energy signature, and…there! He's moving north…he's really booking it, too.' Naruto used the Body Flicker, and disappeared. The two Chunin looked back, and shrugged.

-The Northern Forest-

Naruto appeared in the forest, and sniffed at the air. "Let's see…I smell…sweat…fear…and excitement. A male…I smell the metal of the kunai he carries…and a musty sent…of old parchment. It's Mizuki."

"**Going to chase him?"**

"Chase? I'm going to cut him off." Naruto disappeared again in a swirl of leaves, just as another ninja appeared, and swore.

"Damn," said Iruka. "I must have just missed him.

-With Mizuki-

The Chunin was moving through the treetops, the Forbidden Scroll strapped to his back. 'With this, I can increase my power to that of an ANBU! And perhaps, if I give it to Master Orochimaru after, he'll give me even more power!'

Mizuki chuckled, but that chuckle turned into a yell as something, flashing in the sparse sunlight, cut through a branch he landed on. He managed to land on his feet, and turned to see Naruto staring right at him, the windows of his mask glowing a bright red.

"Mizuki…"I'm gonna take that scroll and break your legs off."

Mizuki smirked. "Ha! You make me laugh, _Genin_. With this scroll, I'm unstoppable! I've already learned from it, and I've put myself at the level of a Jounin! If you get in my way, I'll obliterate you!"

Now it was Naruto's turn to smirk. "You…are the worst liar I've ever met. You're no Jounin…you're barely at Chunin level. You are pathetic. But I'll make you a deal. I'll fight you. You win, you get your freedom. I win, I get the scroll."

Mizuki smirked. "Deal!" He took a windmill shuriken from his back, and hurled it at Naruto.

"NO!" At that moment, a shinobi tried to intercept the shuriken. It tore through his shoulder, separating veins and ligaments, and probably crippling him for life. The shuriken continued, which Naruto caught like a thrown rock, and crushed in his hand.

It was Iruka. He growled, and dropped the piece of scrap metal. "Screw your legs. For that, I'm gonna make you die slow and painful, Mizuki." And with that, he blurred out of sight.

Mizuki began to sweat. "Ha! Kill me?! You're just running away! You're a coward, Uzumaki! Say…would you like to know why everyone in the village hates you?"

Iruka, who had leaned against a tree, trying in vain to stop the blood flow, looked up, his face pale with blood loss and fear. "No, Mizuki! It's f-forbidden!"

The Chunin laughed. "Yes…yes, it is. The Yondaime Hokage defeating the Kyuubi no Kitsune is a lie, a fable told to you, Naruto, to keep you under control. You want to know the truth?"

"Mizuki, stop!"

"The Yondaime could only seal the Kyuubi away instead of killing it. So he sealed it into a newborn baby. That baby was you, Naruto! You ARE the Kyuubi no Kitsune!" He laughed madly, and Iruka groaned. "And now, Iruka, with that knowledge, it will drive him insane! He'll release the fox demon and destroy Konoha! And I'll be far away by then!" Mizuki cackled like a madman.

Naruto echoed the cackle, but his was devoid of any humor whatsoever. It was hollow, mocking. It sent chills up both Chunin's spines.

"What is so funny, demon boy?"

"That I already know about Kyuubi." Naruto dropped down in front of Mizuki, who recoiled; he hadn't even felt his chakra! **"And I'm more of a demon than you know, worm."**

Mizuki growled. "Then I can just kill you, and then Iruka. I'll lie, and tell them you took the scroll. They'll even blame you for Iruka's death. They'll make me a hero, maybe even a Jounin!"

A clone dropped down behind Mizuki, putting him in a submission hold. **"Not likely."**

Another clone appeared, snapping Mizuki's wrists and taking the scroll. Mizuki screamed in pain. **"I'll have this, thank you."**

Meanwhile, the real Naruto was performing a set of hand seals. Hand seals familiar to both Iruka and Mizuki.** "You are undeserving of the title of shinobi. So I'm going to take it from you, along with your life. Forbidden Technique: Organ Implosion Jutsu."**

Naruto placed a hand on Mizuki's chest, as the Chunin began to scream. Naruto knew he could control which oranges to explode, and how, so first, he blew Mizuki's kidneys out of his back, watching in sick fascination. He'd never done this before. The Chunin screamed louder in pain, a scream that became vomiting. Naruto quickly moved off to the side.

'Hm…better not stand in front of him. What next? Ah, I know!' Next, Mizuki's intestines, small and large, were blown through the opposite side of where Naruto stood, taking black guts with them, and splattered onto a tree. Mizuki sagged, so Naruto picked up a rock and smashed it into his jaw, waking him up.

"**Don't go to sleep yet, _sensei_. We're not done here."**

Next, he blew out Mizuki's appendix, and then his bladder and colon. Mizuki was only alive because of Naruto's youkai. He wanted the Chunin to know and _feel_ what was happening. Finally, only his brain, heart, and lungs remained. And Naruto was spotless. **"This has been fun, but I'm sick of you now. Lean him forward."**

The clone did as told, and Naruto placed his hand on the back of Mizuki's head. With a sadistic grin, Mizuki's lungs exploded, splattering onto the ground in a fresh shower of blood and organ-y bits. Next, Mizuki's heart swelled, inflamed, and burst, spraying a lot of blood onto the ground. And finally, Mizuki's face parted, his eyes bulging, and then popping, as his skull cracked and his brain matter squished out onto the ground like chunky mustard.

Naruto grinned, and received the Forbidden Scroll from his clone, rolling up open to read. 'Getting all of this, Kyuubi?'

"**Yep. Writing it all down, every part."**

'Good. Got it all?'

"**Uh-huh. We're good."**

'Excellent.' Naruto rolled up the scroll, and looked at Iruka. "You are one dumb son of a bitch, to get in the way, you know that, right?" He crouched down next to the Chunin, who chuckled.

"Just trying to make amends."

Naruto snorted. "For what?"

Iruka groaned in pain. "I always thought like the villagers did. I blamed you because the Kyuubi killed my parents, and there were times I wanted to kick you out of the Academy. But now I see that I was wrong."

Naruto nodded. "You're bleeding still. You'll be out of blood in an hour, so we need to close that wound up. Hold still." Iruka did as told, as Naruto placed a hand over him. A strange, foul, purple chakra leaked from Naruto's hand, and sunk into Iruka's shoulder. It pulled the veins, ligaments, and what have you back together, 'welding' them shut. Then Iruka gasped as his skin was pulled back together, 'knitting' itself.

Naruto stood up. "You'll be fine, but I suggest going to the hospital anyway. Maybe get a blood transfusion to replace what you've lost. Here have a present." He tossed the scroll to Iruka.

The Chunin looked up at him. "Why?"

"What would the ANBU say, if they saw me holding the scroll? Now, you said you wanted to make amends, right?"

"Yes."

"Then here's what you do: Tell them I killed Mizuki. Tell them I took the scroll back from him. Tell them I saved your life, and possibly, all of Konoha. Don't tell them how I killed him. Just tell them.

Also, one more thing. If you tell anyone, and I mean anyone, even the Hokage, that I know about the Kyuubi, I'm going to find you, and everyone you told, and torture you all more cruelly than anyone in a PoW camp. And that's not to say what Kyuubi himself will do, got it?"

Iruka swallowed, and nodded.

"Good. And now, to let them find you. Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Missile!" As the massive, burning dragon climbed into the sky, Naruto disappeared.

Iruka blinked. 'He just forced all of Mizuki's organs to explode from his body, in the most gruesome, merciless manner, keeping the bastard alive through the entire ordeal…he still has chakra left?! Kami in heaven!'

When the ANBU found him, he told them what Naruto instructed him to say, leaving out little details, like the forbidden justu he used, his healing with youkai, and the fact that he opened the scroll. After today, many in the village would look at Naruto a little differently.

After today, only a couple would look at Naruto the way the Yondaime wanted them to: As a hero of the village.

--

A/N: And done with another chapter. Not much to say here, only there was a question about who I'd pair Naruto with. I haven't given it much thought just yet, but there are a few in mind:

Sakura: FUCK NO.

Ino: See above.

Tenten: Possibly.

Hinata: Oh, definitely. I like Hinata.

Anko:: Of course.

Kurenai: Yep-yep.

Tsume: Naw. I dunno much about her, but no.

Hana: That's a maybe. I haven't fully decided yet.

Tsunade: Whenever she makes an appearance, I'll think about it. I mean, she's gotta be like, in her fifties, even though she keeps herself looking young.

Shizune: Just like Hana, maybe.

Tsunami: No.

And I don't know whether or not to keep Haku a boy, or make him a girl. I'll think about it.

See ya!


	3. Naruto's First Mission

Part 3

A/N: So, in regards to the Naruto pairings I mentioned, the ones I've said 'yes' too, I meant I'd do them all. I want to make this a harem fic, so you'll see Naruto paired with a lot of Konoha girls, and maybe some from other villages, or OC's.

Here we go.

--

-The Forest of Death-

"RASENGAN!"

Naruto's attack chewed through the stomach of a large, black bear with four gleaming red eyes. The demon bear died with a horrible shriek, spraying Naruto with blood and innards, and the Rasengan hit a tree behind the bear, splintering the trunk and blowing almost half of it apart.

Naruto straightened up, frowning. He was noticing a difficulty in using his hanyou youkai, instead of his human chakra. He decided it was because he wasn't used to it yet, but it seemed to drain him faster than usual. Naruto had been out in the Forest of Death since early morning, and surveyed the damage. Broken trees, craters, dying embers of fires, parts frozen over with ice, or lashed to pieces with massive gusts of wind.

"**Heh, I've forgotten how much damage you can cause in a GOOD mood."**

'Hey, it isn't THAT bad.'

"**Yeah, sure. So, how's the new stuff working out for you?"**

'Great. The new clothes are awesome, thank you. I haven't got a chance to try any of the weapons yet, but the Forbidden Scroll has a lot of useful techniques. I'm really liking this Rasengan, it has a potential for massive damage.'

"**You know what's interesting? The Rasengan was created by the Yondaime Hokage. Also, the rumor is, for anyone who remembers, that it took him three years to complete the technique. How fast did it take you?"**

Naruto shrugged. 'A couple of hours. Not surprising, when you think about it. He had to learn the technique on his own. I have the instructions. Hmm…the Yondaime, huh?'

"**Oh, yes. He also created a technique called The Flying Thunder God. He would inscribe runes-"**

'On thousands of kunai that he sealed into a scroll. When he released the kunai in a cloud of death, he would 'teleport' as a bolt of lightning to each kunai in just a second, to slash the throats of the enemy. And anyone caught in his path of travel would be fried in seconds.'

"**How do you know that?"**

'I read. No wonder the man was so powerful, and respected. And did you know that The Flying Thunder God earned him his nickname in the last Great Shinobi War against Iwagakure no Sato? They called him "Konoha's Yellow Flash".'

"**No, I didn't know that part. You sure know your history, Naru-kun."**

'And a ton of other things, too. Oh, yeah, I'm a real bookworm.'

"**Thank Kami for sarcasm. ANBU coming in fast, ten o' clock."**

Naruto spun around, seeing an ANBU in a goat mask standing in front of him. "Oh, hey Roku."

The ANBU raised a hand. "Hey, Naruto. Dude, the Hokage wants to see you in his office."

Naruto groaned. "What now?"

"Not trouble, he didn't seem stern or angry." The ANBU shrugged. "Anyway, if you need an escort, I can t-"

Naruto shook his head. "No thanks." Using the Body Flicker, he disappeared.

The ANBU stood there for a second, before disappearing. 'Huh…I forgot he can do that.'

-The Hokage's Office-

Sarutobi sat behind his desk, puffing on the short pipe he always had. He had a sketchbook and pen in hand, making a simple but good drawing of the Yondaime. He glanced up at a spike of chakra, and saw Naruto standing in front of his desk. He put the sketchbook away and sat up. "Hello, Naruto. I see you've changed your outfit slightly. Nice look."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama." Naruto grabbed a chair and took a seat. "So, what did you want?"

"I want you to meet some people, but first, we need to talk. In regards to your test with Kakashi…"

Naruto grinned. "You were watching?"

Sarutobi nodded, and gestured to his crystal ball. "Of course. I've always known you were getting stronger, but this…surprises even me. You must know that, at one time, Kakashi was an ANBU captain, as you were the reason for his retirement."

This made Naruto's grin grow wider. He fondly recalled that day. It was the day he'd learned how to use the Body Flicker. He tormented an ANBU with a wolf mask all day, for no reason other than boredom, using a Genjutsu he put on himself, to appear ghostly and grisly. He called himself 'the specter of a child you have killed in battle, come back for revenge'. All day long, he appeared wherever Kakashi was, moaning, 'weeping', his ghostly wounds oozing black blood and gray puss. He picked up items and threw them at Kakashi, he screamed in his face, but he always teleported before Kakashi got near enough to touch or hit him. If he remembered correctly, Kakashi had almost quit being a shinobi altogether, but was talked out of it, and forced to take a demotion down to Jounin. As well as several therapy sessions. Even the mention of a ghost, to this day, turned Kakashi pale, and he would run to his house and hide, probably to weep in despair.

"And even now, he still has low-ANBU speed, if not power. But to beat him like that…I'm wondering if you are at low-ANBU speed AND power. I saw you Body Flicker…you still had chakra, right?"

"Plenty."

"Naruto, I have to ask…were you toying with Kakashi?"

Naruto leaned his chair back, and put his hands behind his head, remembering the fight. "At first, yes. He wasn't taking me seriously enough, so I used enough power to fuck with his head, and force him to get more into the fight. Once he did that, it became harder. There were times I struggled to keep up, mostly, when I was focusing on what my clones were doing. But once I instructed them to hang back for the time being, I focused solely on Kakashi. It became easier to beat him."

Sarutobi nodded. "I saw. I also noticed you took one bell towards the start of the fight. Couldn't you have just hung back and waited for one of you teammates to make an attempt? You'd already won."

This made Naruto chuckle. "I wanted to test out both of our abilities. Yeah, I could have said 'screw it' and went to rest somewhere, but if Kakashi is to be my sensei, I want to make sure he's capable."

"And?"

"I trust him…as far as being our sensei goes, anyway."

"And everything else?"

"I just really don't like him. He has a weakness for pornography which is shameful, if not to his Jounin status, then because of the fact he reads it in public AND in front of minors. He's also lazy, he is always late, and as far as teaching goes…I think a trained monkey would do better."

Sarutobi sighed, and took a drag from his pipe. "Right. Moving on, your fight the next day with Mizuki. The Organ Implosion Technique is forbidden for a reason. And I know there are a lot of 'forbidden' techniques that we use anyway, but this one is forbidden in every literal sense of the word. It's highly humane, and the use of it on another shinobi, with the exception of war, is a death sentence. How do you even know it?"

"I study. A lot. Even the things we aren't supposed to know. But Mizuki was a traitor, and I judged him to be undeserving of a humane death, or at the lease, incarceration."

"And you read the scroll."

"I thought there might be useful techniques…but at the moment, I haven't found any that seem interesting." Lie.

Sarutobi nodded, and sighed again. "The Council have been demanding your head, as usual, and I'm trying to keep them at bay…but it isn't easy when you give them reason to! Even civilians saw you trying to level the Forest of Death today! What were you doing?"

"Training," Naruto said simply.

Gathering a stack of papers, Sarutobi ripped them to shreds. "Two hundred bills, asking permission to pass all kinds of laws to restrict you, Naruto. Of course I won't hand you any punishment, but please, for my sake, try to keep your rampages to a minimum?"

"I'll try." Naruto had his toes crossed.

"Good, now, our guests will arrive any second, so-"

"GAI-SENSEI, AS ALWAYS, YOU HAVE BESTED ME IN A CONTEST OF SPEED! I STILL CANNOT MATCH YOU!!!"

Naruto and Sarutobi fell out of their chairs, but Naruto clapped his hands to his ears, twitching on the ground. "Ahh! What the fuck was that?!"

The door burst open with the emergence of a muscular man, wearing a Jounin vest and a ridiculous green spandex suit, with orange legwarmers, a black bowl haircut, and the largest goddamn eyebrows Naruto had ever seen.

"AH, LEE! DO NOT WORRY! ONE DAY YOU WILL BECOME AS FAST AS ME, AS LONG AS YOU BURN WITH THE FIRES OF YOUTH!!"

Another spandex-wearing person came in, a smaller clone of the man. He sported the same bowl cut, only slightly smaller eyebrows, and the same damn outfit, minus the vest, but sporting orange legwarmers.

"YES, GAI-SENSEI! I WILL TRAIN EVERY DAY TO MAKE SURE MY FIRES BURN-"

During all of this, Naruto had risen to his feet, and cast a Genjutsu on himself. His facemask now sported a wide 'mouth' with double rows of wicked, sharp teeth. His eyes glowed a dark red, and red-and-green fire flickered to life behind him. He was literally foaming at the mouth, and it was leaking from his mask, giving him a rabid look.

"**SHUT THE FUCK UP, BOTH OF YOU! I swear to Kami, if either of you keep this up, **_**I'll tear your balls off and feed 'em to you!**_"

All of this, including the massive amount of killing intent rolling off of Naruto in waves, stopped both sensei and student and froze them instantly. Down the hall, they could hear a high-pitched scream, and a thump.

"Tenten!" cried the little clone, but the door slammed in his nose. Naruto stepped forward, his hands twitching, but then the Hokage interfered.

"Naruto! That's enough!" Sarutobi was having trouble breathing from the amount of killing intent Naruto was creating, but the sound of the Old Man's voice seemed to calm him. All of the Genjutsu were canceled, and the door unlocked itself; the clone flung himself into the hall.

Sarutobi took a seat as the clone came back in, carrying a girl with brown hair set in two balls on her head, a sleeveless pink shirt, and dark blue shorts. It looked like she'd fainted.

"Naruto, I'd like to introduce you to Mighto Gai, captain of Gai Team. Gai, this is Uzumaki Naruto, one of the Genin of Team Seven. His instructor is Hatake Kakashi."

Gai, despite Naruto's outburst, grinned, his teeth gleaming, and gave a thumbs-up. "SO, YOU ARE THE YOUNG PUPIL OF MY ETERNAL RIVAL, KAKASHI!"

Naruto growled menacingly.

Gulp. "I mean, how ya doin', kid?"

Naruto gave a slight bow, and smirked. "You named your team after yourself?"

…sweat-drop.

"And this is Rock Lee." Sarutobi gestured to the clone.

Despite Naruto being scarier than a demon, Rock Lee perfectly imitated his sensei. "Hello, Uzumaki Naruto! It is a pleasure to meet you!"

"Yeah, whatever." Naruto nodded to Lee in greeting, and the girl, waking up, was set on her feet.

"And this is Tenten."

The girl hid behind Gai, her face pale. "H-hello, U-u-uzumaki-san."

Naruto gave another nod. "What, no surname?"

"Naruto," said Sarutobi somewhat sternly, "Team Gai is set for a C-ranked mission today, but the last team member, Hyuuga Neji, is ill today, and cannot make the mission."

Naruto arched a brow. "Hyuuga Neji? The branch-family jackass and cousin to Hinata?"

Tenten came from behind Gai. "Hey! Don't talk about Neji like that! He's a great ninja, and deserves respect!"

Naruto turned his head, slowly, to stare at Tenten, who began to sweat. She couldn't tell if he was blinking or not. "Neji will earn my respect when he removes the branch from his ass…or if he ever defeats me. Both are unlikely."

The Hokage cleared his throat. "The _mission_, Naruto, is to escort a noblewoman to a small village, close to Konoha, but the way is through cannibal bandit territory. You are the only one in the village without a mission, and the only one able. Sakura is…"

"Weaker than a newborn kitten with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and muscular dystrophy together. And the Uchiha is still weak from that beating I gave him. Right?"

Sarutobi nodded, looking uncomfortable. "A bit more cruel than what I would have said, but yes, you are correct."

"Excuse me, Hokage-sama," said Gai, "But if I'm correct, Uzumaki-san's team has only just been made Genin. Are you sure he's ready for this?"

Naruto turned his head, almost on a complete 180, to stare at Gai, his eye-windows glowing icy blue. "You calling me weak?"

Gai shook his head. "No, no! Not at all."

"I am sure Naruto will be able to perform the duties required of him, Gai. You have my word. Well, you all have three hours to gather whatever supplies you'll be needing for the trip. As usual, an advance has been put into your accounts, and the rest, you will receive upon successful completion of the mission. Good luck to all of you."

Everyone blinked, and looked around. Naruto had already gone.

-Konoha Streets-

Naruto now had a pouch full of ryo, and a piece of paper. 'Well, they gave me this shopping list as well as my advance pay. Let's see…looks more like camping gear.'

"**Well, if the mission could take more than just a day, it makes sense that you need to buy camping gear. What's on this list?"**

'Bedroll…backpack…rations…kindling…pot…pan…water bottles…chopsticks. It even lists the prices for each item at certain stores. If I buy good quality, cheap items, I'll have money left over for weapons.'

"**But you don't need weapons, since you have your gloves, and the scroll I gave you. Speaking of the gloves, did you seal your kunai and shuriken into them?"**

'Yeah, I did. Most of the stores listed here won't sell to me.' Naruto blinked, and smirked. 'Well, then it won't be me buying the items…will it?'

"**Uh…what? Naruto? What are you planning?"**

'Heh heh heh.'

-Ten minutes later-

A young woman with long, blonde pigtails and bright blue eyes entered a surplus store which specialized in survival gear. She wore a plain, black tank top, baggy black sweats with orange stripes down the outsides, and steel-toed combat boots. She also had on a black facemask and fingerless gloves.

The man working the shop smiled, and moved from around the desk. "Hello, young miss. How can I help you?"

The girl presented him with a list of several items. "I need each of these for a trip I'm taking. Can you help me out?" The girl's eyes seemed to grow bigger, sparkling.

The man turned red. "Y-yes, ma'am!" After a salute, he was off to find the items.

In Naruto's head, the Kyuubi was roaring with laughter. **"I love watching you manipulate people, but this takes it too a whole new level of 'creepy and hilarious'!" **And then the laughter stopped, and Kyuubi deadpanned. **"But don't ever do that again. Seriously. That's just wrong."**

'Feh.'

Soon after, the man came back. Paying for "her" supplies, "she" left the store, smirking, and examined the items. 'They seem to be of good quality. Excellent, that went better than expected. Now I just have to-' "Ugh!"

Naruto had bumped into two thugs, with cold eyes and sadistic grins. One grabbed him by both wrists. "Hey, baby, where you off to in such a hurry?"

The other one chuckled; the street was empty. "You're on Hiro and Kouzu's street. You don't look like you can pay the toll." The thug was purposely ignoring the 'girl's' money pouch. "How about you come and give it to us in a different way?"

Naruto had to work hard to keep his face in an expression of speechless terror. Speechless, because he was about to burst out laughing. He allowed the two to drag him into a dark alley, and rip his clothes off. The thugs were undoing their pants, but the larger one, probably Kouzu, shoved the other into the wall. "I'm first, asshole!"

"Then hurry up and fuck her, so I can have my turn! Chop-chop!"

Naruto's eyes began to glow a bright red, and he let out a hissing, sinister series of chuckles, his voice turning from female, to male, and then demonic.

"'**Chop chop,' eh? Very poor choice of words."**

The girl turned back into Naruto with a poof. The two men gasped in fear and hate, and pulled their pants up, taking out weapons.

"It's the demon!"

"Kill it!"

Naruto seemed unconcerned as the men came towards him, taking out and unrolling a scroll, and glancing at it. He then placed it on the wall and slammed his hand into it, now holding a very sinister-looking battleaxe.

Double-blades, it was one-piece demon steel, with a grooved handle wrapped in a shock-absorbing material. The shaft extended into a clawed hand that 'gripped' the top of the blade, extending out on either side as curved spikes for slicing and goring.

One stopped, but the other, Hiro, katana held high, came on bravely. He swung his sword down to slice Naruto from the left shoulder to the right side, but Naruto caught his arm, broke his wrist, and slammed him into the wall. As the punk began to sob, Naruto swung his axe easily into the punk's neck, lopping his head off, denting the wall, and spraying a fountain of blood all over himself. He turned his head, eyes glowing red. "Chop…"

"Fuck this!" Kouzo turned and sprinted from the alley, but Naruto turned towards him, pulled his arm back, and hauled it forward, sending the axe end-over-end, flashing, until it sliced into Kouzo's head, spraying more blood, and the body hit the ground with a 'thump'.

"Chop!" Chuckling, Naruto dragged Hiro's body and head from the alley, and tossed it next to Kouzo's. He retrieved his axe and supplies, strapping the axe to his back and putting the scroll away. Then he took out some rope, tied the bodies together, and tore off Kouzo's head, placing them in a sack. Grabbing the bodies, he took out a kunai and nailed them both to a sign post, and a crowd began to gather.

Naruto set his belongings next to him, and turned to the crowd. "You are all about to witness the fate of rapists and murderers in Konoha. Keep that in mind, the next time any of you want to form an 'anti-Naruto mob'. They also broke the Sandaime's Law."

Naruto turned to the bodies. "Fire Release: Dragonfire!" Blowing out a stream of fire, the flames licked at the bodies as the crowd gasped, and a few screamed. Naruto grabbed his things, and used the Body Flicker.

-The Hokage's Office-

Sarutobi looked up as Naruto entered his office, and narrowed his eyes in anger. "Naruto. A pyre in the middle of the street? What were you thinking?"

Naruto snorted. "I was thinking that rapists don't deserve a proper burial, so I decided to make an example of them. But I have a question. You know how Hunter-nin turn in the heads of nuke-nin for a bounty?"

Sarutobi slowly nodded his head. "Yes. What are you getting at?"

Naruto opened the sack, and took out the heads of the punks. "Do I get a reward for the heads of criminals?"

Sarutobi stood up. "Kami in heaven, Naruto, what's the matter with you?!"

Naruto shrugged. "Probably a lot of things." He put the heads back in the sack, and slung it over his shoulder. "Honestly, I was doing a public service. And it may interest you to know, they broke the law you placed to keep me from knowing about the fox demon, so I just carried out the punishment."

Sarutobi's eyes widened. "You…you know about the nine-tailed fox?"

"Yep. Kyuubi's been my teacher for six years, now. I know all about him. I know it was the Yondaime who sealed him inside me. And I know why the villagers call me 'demon'. Is this a problem?"

Sarutobi was speechless. He always thought, if Naruto ever found out, he'd go insane and slaughter everything in his path with the fox's release. But for the past two years, he'd changed his ideas and thought Naruto would go on a rampage with his own power. He really didn't know how to deal with this.

Naruto shrugged. "You don't have to worry. I'm not going to start killing people just for looking at me wrong. What I would like is for you to grant me the authority to carry out the punishment for talking about the Kyuubi in public."

Sarutobi's eyes narrowed again. "You do that, and you'll be confirming their thoughts about you being a monster."

"You think I give a damn? I could care less what they think of me. They are the reason I am why I am, in case you've forgotten…"

Sarutobi sat down again. "No, I haven't forgotten. But what I expected was for you to be a man enough to look past that and try to gain their respect, so you could have it easier in the village."

Naruto put his hands on the desk, leaning forward. "They aren't worth respect unless they can look past their irrational hatred of me. All they deserve is a foot in the ass and a knife in the throat."

Sarutobi sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't have time for this, Naruto. Get out, and don't come back until it's time for your mission."

With a hiss, Naruto gathered his things, and headed for the door. "Fine. But this isn't over, Old Man." With that, he used the Body Flicker, and disappeared.

'Hasn't anyone ever heard of a door?'

-The Forest of Death-

"AAGH! FUCKING-DAMN-IT!"

Naruto was on a total rampage. He was pissed off, and it was better for him to be in the forest, or villagers would die. He slammed his arm into a tree, snapping the trunk, the tree falling behind him with a massive crash, taking down two more with it. A squirrel had the bad fortune to cross his path, and had a heart attack from the killing intent he was leaking. Which was pointless, because a Pulse Blast turned it to vapor a second later, and created a crater with a twenty-foot radius.

'**Oh, Kami…if he keeps this up, he'll level half the forest.'**

"Rotten old bastard…talking to ME like that! Who the hell does he think he is?!" With a roar, Naruto ripped a tree out of the ground, and slammed it into three others, cracking it in three places, and knocking down the others. This pissed off a colony of super-sized bees, about the size of a large puppy, which turned their attention to Naruto.

Grabbing the handle of his axe, Naruto leapt up at the cloud of bees, chopping the bees in half when they got near enough. In under a minute, two hundred bees lay in pieces on the ground, and Naruto landed in a tree branch, next to a giant leech, which he crushed with a hand.

"Not good enough, dammit!"

"**Naruto, calm down! You're releasing enough chakra to alert half of the shinobi in Konoha! And if you keep it up, every demon in the forest will be on you in seconds!"**

'Maybe I want it that way. Maybe I really want to start a massacre!'

"**Naruto, if you keep this up, I refuse to teach you ANYTHING for the next three months!"**

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks. After a moment's hesitation, he forced himself to calm down, and the flow of his chakra release died down, so that he was suppressing his chakra like normal. He gave a snort, and teleported just as two ANBU and a host of low-level demon animals showed up.

Reappearing about a mile away, in another spot of the forest, Naruto sat down underneath a tree, and sighed.

"**Well, I'm glad to see you know how to listen. How about learning a new technique?"**

Naruto rose a brow. 'You have to ask?'

"**Heh heh. It's called Disruption Walk, a Chaos technique. It's similar to the Body Flicker, but instead of teleporting, you move through…well, everything."**

'What?'

"**The ground, roots, buildings, walls, floors, poles…anything and everything, with the exception of living beings or things too small for you to travel through, you can move inside of. Of course, there are drawbacks, like getting trapped in a wall, or getting crushed by whatever you're moving through, which won't happen a lot, unless you like to play in a quarry or something. But you basically sink into something, move at hyper speed, and come out from your intended destination. Of course, you can control it to make detours, but you have to have one-hundred-percent focus when using it, or…you die."**

'So…how do I do it?'

"**By thinking about it. Picture yourself sinking into, say, the ground. You'll find that you're moving through a pitch-black portal, which you can exit at any time, and almost any spot. But you'll have to look very carefully and make sure you avoid any obstructions, or you'll crash into something and splatter yourself back to reality in a very messy fashion. So, try to move to a spot just in front of the tree opposite to where you are now."**

Naruto closed his eyes, concentrating on that spot. He willed himself to travel through the ground, and felt as if he were in an elevator…and elevator that was then shot out of a massive slingshot to slide on an oil slick, which then slammed into a barrier, and rose up slowly again to deposit Naruto right in front of the tree, on the exact spot he'd wanted to be.

And then he rolled over and threw up into a bush.

"**Heh heh, that's…that's my Naruto. Eww."**

Naruto grinned when he was done. 'That was…pure awesome! I've gotta try that again. Wait…gotta check the time.' Grabbing his things, Naruto used the Disruption Walk again.

-Naruto's Apartment-

With only slightly more chaotic success, if you count 'slightly' meaning 'propelled from the wall like a screaming rocket into the opposite wall…and a stud.

Naruto hit the ground, and snorted. "Not exactly the way I meant to do it, but hell…I'm still learning. Also, hitting studs really hurts."

"**I wouldn't know anything about that."**

'Shaddup.' Getting to his feet, Naruto deposited the severed heads into his freezer, put his weapons scroll away, and set all of his small items in his pack, put the kindling into the bedroll, and tied that to the top of his pack. Then he put the pack on, and glanced at the clock. 'Ten minutes to go…but, before I go to the Hokage's office…'

-Two minutes later-

Sasuke woke up with tape over his mouth, his body bound tightly with a rope, and super glued to his ceiling. 'Goddammit Naruto!'

-A minute later-

Sarutobi glanced up at Naruto's chakra signature, but he didn't see him anywhere in the room. He shrugged, and went back to his business…reading the newest Icha Icha.

"You adults are all perverts, I swear. Silly ero-Ojii-san (perverted grandpa, I believe)."

"What?!" Sarutobi looked around, but he still couldn't see Naruto. Then he glanced at his desk…and for the first time in a really long time, Sarutobi Hiruzen, once called the Professor and the God of Shinobi, shouted out in surprise, as Naruto's face appeared in the wood of his desk, bulging out like a horrible tumor.

"And I thought it was only Kakashi that actually read that filth. You should be ashamed, Hokage-sama."

"N-naruto! H-how…?"

"It's called 'the Disuption Walk'. Anything big enough, I can travel through, and even do this, apparently." And Naruto rose up through the desk, the wood rippling like water, until he came up out of it fully, and then it was still and solid again. "I think I bend reality with it."

Sarutobi was speechless, once again. Naruto seemed to have that effect on a lot of people. Just then, Team Gai appeared, with the exception of Neji. Gai, about to yell again, saw Naruto standing there, and remembered the last time.

"Team Gai, reporting for the mission, Hokage-sama."

Naruto got down off the desk, and joined Team Gai, noticing that Tenten inched as far away from him as she could.

"Right well…then you can meet the person you'll be escorting. Mizu, you can come in now."

The door opened. A young woman, possibly eighteen, with long, curly gold hair, bright green eyes, and a curvy body, wearing a dress of black and white, entered the room, and bowed to them all.

"I am Irikaze Mizu. It is a pleasure to meet the shinobi who will be escorting me." She straightened up and smiled, and the Hokage nodded.

"You may all go, now, and good luck."

They all left the Hokage's Tower, and headed down the street. Gai, playing the role of the sensei, struck up a meaningless conversation with the young woman, while the rest of them hung back. Naruto hoped they would find some action today, as he was dying to try out the Disruption Walk in combat.

Unfortunately, no such luck. They had left the village, and walked up until nightfall. And even deep in bandit territory, there was still nothing. Finally, they were forced to make camp.

Naruto, knowing the layout of the area pretty well, knew of a hot spring nearby that he could waste some time in. "Excuse me, I'll be back in an hour or so." Rising, he turned and headed into the woods, realizing that he had a follower.

As he reached the hot spring, a green-lit area due to giant glowing mushrooms, he removed his clothes, with the exception of his mask, seeing that he had a guest. He didn't bother to turn around. "Can I help you, Irikaze-san?"

A pair of soft hands touched his shoulders, and slid to his chest, even as one disappeared, trailing shapr fingernails gently around his side and to his back, and then disappearing. He shivered from the touch.

"Yes, fox brat, you can die for me!!"

Naruto's eyes widened as he felt a dagger plunged into his side, piercing his kidney. The dagger was jerked savagely up and out, spraying Naruto's blood onto the ground, and he was pushed into the hot spring, coughing up blood, hearing her triumphant laughter.

--

A/N: Whoo, cliffhangers! Aren't they fun?! Yes, I know I'm an ass, ha ha. So, a few more that I've remembered.

Temari: Definitely.

Nii Yugito: Well, if they ever meet, then yes, Nii is definitely one for the harem.

Nibi: Well, as a demon inside Nii, if Naruto fucks Nii, then he would also fuck the Nibi, definitely. And maybe Kyuubi would join in?

I can't remember any others at this point, so if I've missed a few, let me know.

See ya!


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